It has been a hard few weeks for me. After having some serious anxiety attacks the Community Mental Health team decided it was best if I stopped taking the Venlafaxine altogether, only after 6 days taking it. I must say, the aftermath was even worse. I was having at least 2-3 anxiety attacks a day, not to mention I was constipated, could not urinate, and was very confused and incoherent. After the worst was gone, my mother said she was really worried about my sanity, since I was having very strange and disturbed thoughts.
I am only on Cipralex 10mg now until I see the psychiatrist on Monday. I have had a bit more energy than I had before Venlafaxine, but still feel very sad. I am also extremely worried about going back to work. The truth is, I don’t want to go back, but I don’t think I have any other options. I have a mortgage and bills to pay. Thankfully I am not in much debt, but still have to pay what I owe. It worries me to death and I think the anxiety attacks I had were accentuated by those thoughts. I know that there are people that would help me, but again, I really don’t want to be a burden to anyone.
On the other hand, I want to thank Jojesek for her kind reply. I was convinced no one was interested in what I had to say and was starting to feel extremely rejected by everyone. Jojesek, thank you so much for reading my blog and answering, it meant a lot to me. I am sorry that you are going through such a tough time, but all I can say is hang on in there!
I hope all goes well on Monday. I'm so sorry that you are being forced back to work. I have a disability pension (a pittance really but at least I have it) and don't know what I would do if I had to go back to work. The nature of depression is so cyclical that we have to keep reminding ourselves some relief will come eventually if we hang in long enough.
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