Sunday 23 October 2011

Hello All!

It has been a while since I last wrote on here and lots have happened.  Let’s see, where do I start?

I was approached by the company I “worked” for and they asked for a meeting, since in their view, I am not medically capable of holding the role I was contracted for.  I must admit, I was quite stressed about the whole situation and I spent 3 days worrying about it.  It sounded to me that they already had made their decision, and no matter what I said, they would dismiss me on “medical grounds”.  The day came and as I suspected, they heard what I had to say and they went to “deliberate” about whether I would be dismissed or not.  The decision was made that I was to be dismissed on medical ground.  Surprisingly enough, I didn’t cry, I wasn’t worried, I wasn’t mortified at all.  To the contrary, I was so relaxed, as if something was lifted off my shoulders and the feeling has continued till this day.

I have my goals and motivation to qualify for Miami and my sponsors are helping me big time and although I am working perhaps more than I used to at the “company”, I am enjoying it tremendously, because it is for ME and not for anyone else that I am working for!

I really cannot describe the feeling of being free.  Who would have thought that work was the principal issue of my depression?  Since I was dismissed 2 weeks ago, I have not had 1 bad day and I have plans, targets and most importantly, motivation to continue my life!

I had an appointment with my psychiatrist on Thursday and he was very pleased with me, and has now discharged me from his care.  It is amazing how having a goal and something to look forward to can change one’s perspective of life.  I still need to be on medication for at least 4 more years, since I have recurrent depression, but life looks good at the moment!

A good reed is “FEEL HAPPY NOW” by Michael Neill.  He talks about the “story teller” that we all have inside of us.  By changing that, a lot can change within you, but just telling positive stories, instead of tragic ones.

Thank you to ALL of you who have helped me across this journey.  I still read your blogs and keep you in mind!