Tapering seems to be working!

Well, it looks like tapering the meds is working.  Although my step-granddad died on Wednesday, I was back to work the next day.  I seemed to have dealt with my anger and sadness more effectively than I would have done before.  Sadly, I had a migraine on Friday and as a consequence of taking so many painkillers, my stomach has been a bit “delicate” since.

I have now stopped completely the Quetiapine.  I thought I would have problems sleeping, but I have been OK.  I am down to 15mg of Escitalopram, and going further down to 12.5mg next Tuesday.  I haven’t told my doctor yet, but since I need to get a new prescription soon, I might ask him to give me the 10mg tablets, instead of the 20mg.  That way it should be easier to cut the tablets for the tapering.

One of the stupid things I was doing whilst in the “rollercoaster”, was spend money for any stupid thing.  I started running out of savings, so was very strict in what I was spending the money, but it seems that “necessary” things are now appearing, like I had to get 2 new tyres for my car.  That was over £200 last month that I wasn’t budgeting for, and now this month my boiler started playing up, so £350 again, that I hadn’t budgeted for.

I still have to take Tigre and Mota for their annual vaccinations, which is about £100 for both of them.  Also, Jenny (the budgie) had conjunctivitis, which needed a trip to the vets, and that was £40.  The more I try not to spend money, more things come up that I need to fix.  That is getting me a bit down, but I suppose it could be worse.  At least I have a good job and I enjoy it there, although sometimes I don’t have enough work to keep me busy all day.  Not all can be perfect, hah!

Love life, well, the same.  I have been on my own since May 2009, although on and off with my ex, who happens to be the plumber, electrician and builder I use if something goes wrong.  We are friends now, if you can call it that.  We only really speak if there is something wrong in my flat that needs fixing.  He used to be my “best” friend.  If I was down, he would be there for me and would try and understand my illness.  But on Wednesday, when I really needed him, he wasn’t there, so I have decided to treat him like any other “handy man” and pay for the work he does.  He didn’t want to charge labour for fixing my boiler, but I insisted because I want things to be crystal clear between us.

Friends, well, none to talk about.  I thought Julie would be there for me, but she isn’t really.  I spoke to her earlier this year when I had one of my down moments, but haven’t heard from her since.  She would say “call me if you need me”, but as you will agree, sometimes it is nice for them just to call you out of the blue to ask how you are.  So in that front, nothing either.

All in all, I am on my own, literally.  My mom is there, but again, she doesn’t really understand this illness.  My sister, well, I think we didn’t speak for months, but we never speak about me, my illness or how I am feeling.  She gets frustrated and retreats.

It seems I made this post about moaning!  But really, I just wanted to update you on how the tapering of the meds is going.  I might throw a moan here and there, but I wouldn’t be human if I didn’t!