It has been a tough few weeks for me. My headaches have come back, and I had to spend
3 days in hospital last week because of them.
At the beginning of the year I had a bout of headaches that
lasted 9 weeks. I felt frustrated and
fed up, with doctors prescribing medications that were not really working. I did everything that I could think of, and
since the pain sometimes came from mi sinuses I started doing nasal irrigations
twice a day. It seemed it helped and my
headaches became better, until I didn’t have them anymore.
Now they are back, and I tried the same technique, but this
time without luck. I have taken off over
17 days from work because of this, and I don’t think my employer will be happy
if I keep taking more days off because of them.
I have this week off holiday, so I am going to force my GP to refer me
to a specialist (not sure what kind, neurologist perhaps?), and try sort this
issue once and for all!
The other thing that has me angry, and maybe sad, is the
fact that I feel no one listens to me.
My mom is going through a rough patch at work with her boss turning to
her and being a bully, and I kept telling her that I could see the signs of
depression kicking in and that she needed to go to the doctor’s and either take
some time off, or take some medication to calm her down. She was really stubborn and dismissed
everything I said, and said that she was going to be OK, etc. I called her every day for a week begging her
to go to the doctors but she wouldn’t.
Friday things got quite bad and it only took my sister to tell her once
and she went without kicking or screaming.
Now, how is that supposed to make me feel? On the other hand, I should be used to it,
because my ex-husband and my ex-partner were the same. I could say something 100 times, and they
would not believe me or take any notice, but it only took someone else to say
the same thing, and they would agree or believe without quibble. I wonder what it is that makes people think
that I am not saying the truth? I had
this “game” with my ex where I used to say “rule No. 1: Linda is always right”,
so when the moment came where what I said was proven to be right, rule No. 1
would come into place.
It is true what they say that the people closest to you are
the ones that hurt you the most. I have
had this history of my mother favouring my sister over me so many times. Everything is her, and they sometimes leave
me out of the picture, and it hurts. So
in this occasion, with the doctor’s situation it has really hurt me that no one
takes what I say into account. I may be
suffering with depression, but that doesn’t make me a liar. Today I went out with her and granddad, and I
felt really angry towards her for not taking what I said into account. I know I shouldn’t, but I do.
Anyway, I am sure as time goes by, I will again be hurt by
the people I love the most, only because I try to get closer to them, or try to
help him in some way. I never learn…..
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