What a rollercoaster it has been!

Since I last wrote in here, my illness has made me go up and down like a rollercoaster.  At one point I tried to commit suicide, but as you guessed, it was unsuccessful.  I just had enough that day.  I am worried about money, putting my family through misery because of my illness, and to top it all up my benefits stopped, so that day, I had enough.  It was early in the morning and one essential ingredient was missing: alcohol.

My dad was worried about me too, so he suggested that I go to a Chinese alternative medicine, which he paid for.  My mom also said she had had a very good experience with a Chiropractor who practices Neurolynk so I have been there too.  I read Citrine and Clear Quartz crystals have healing effects, so I am wearing them as necklace and bracelets. 

In this crazy journey with Depression I have put on 3 Stone (27kg) so of course none of my clothes fit, and that gets me down and it makes me eat chocolate cake and biscuits.  All in all, a very distressing / bruising / depressing few weeks.

But it might be the combination of all the treatments that I have had (and still not heard from the Community Mental Health Team!), I think I am starting to feel a bit more myself lately.  I am not feeling over the top, but I am not in the bottom either.  I have been able to go out for walks, clean the house, change the cat litter, clean the bird’s cage and wash the bathroom, that was a real mess.  I am even showering every day for the last week, which was something that would take all my energy in the past.

I would like to thank Med, who was kind enough to drop me a line and ask how I was.  I read you are having a tough time too.  The only thing I can say, eventually it does get better.

My only hope now is that I don’t have another relapse.  Life is hard as it is and to have this illness on top, is just not fair.